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Oi! Language!

By Anna Bang

Oi! Language!

Let's celebrate our majestic mother tongue. As my previously slow shuffle towards that Freedom Pass speeds up by the day, I thought I'd share what's fresh right now. Just in case there's a few other confused old duffers out there, having managed to crank up their Amstrad PC's sufficiently to log on before slippers and Horlicks at 21.30 of an evening...The following is all thanks to Gemma Cairney, our delightful Music Editor and the lovely (or should I say bhuff?) Mustafa Ozturk, Stylist Assistant, both about to hit 23 and inevitably the oil slick to 30, but I'm sure they aren't giving that a second thought...
 As Just Jack puts it in 'Hold On': "You know you're getting older when the kids on the corner have you baffled every time they speak". Now I'll be able to hold my head high as I pass my local Millennium Kebab and ChickPizz, which both have a constant throng of scary-looking kids clustered outside - at least I'll know what insults they're spewing out. Interesting to see my sources disagree on the word choong/chung, have included both spellings and meanings in the interest of this very scientific research.

ALLOW: to verbally dismiss someone, to knock them back

BEAR: (pronounced as in grizzly bear) lots of, very

BHUFF: (important to pronounce the h) incredibly attractive

BLESS: good bye

BLESSED: everything blessed, i.e. everything o.k.?

BOI'D or BOIMENTS: to get cussed

BREDRIN: (origin yardie term) good friend

BUFF T'ING: good looking guy, pretty girl

BUTTAZ: ugly

CHOONG: stoned (North London) bhuff (South London)

CHUNG: same as bhuff but used about girls

GARMS: clothes

GWAANIN': happening

HENCH, TONK: physically big and muscly

I LIE?: isn't that right?

PENG: really nice, very good looking, beautiful

RAMPIN':an adjective used to describe someone who's not being serious

SHOOK: scared

TURFED: rejected

WHA' GWAAN?: hello



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Goldierocks jet set tips

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By DJ Goldierocks

"Goldierocks Top Tips to jet setting in style"
By DJ Goldierocks

DJ and blonde-haired rock'n'roll vixen Sam Hall, aka Goldierocks spends six months a year trekking from field to yacht to super club and back again spreading her eclectic mix of music around the globe. But always being on the move, the inevitable fatigue and those damn air luggage restrictions play havoc with her skin and her fashion sense. Here's Goldierocks' guide to looking good, travelling light and staying stylish in the skies.


Moisturiser
You're a fool if you think a wee dab of moisturiser after your shower will get you through a 4 hour flight. Cabin air is the devil for skin. Be prepared for oil overload, breakout and skin as rough and temperamental as a grumpy alligator. Not ideal if you're going to have to go straight to a party when you land. I never get on a plane without LancĂ´me Hydra-Zen Day Cream and Dermalogica Special Clearing Booster. Kiehl's Organic French Rosewater is wonderful for refreshing pores; with real rose petals it brings skin alive again. This goes for lip balm too, get an extra nourishing one, designed for weather beaten smackers to make lips really supple on arrival. I love Nivea SOS lip balm and it's cheap as chips!

Berocca
Every DJ's secret weapon. I've lost track of the number of flights I've stumbled on to an hour after I've left a club. Flying hung-over is the worst thing EVER. Berocca is your godsend. Pop one of those an hour before you fly and watch the fuzzy lines in front of your eyes slowly disperse.

Munch
You wouldn't sit at home and over a couple of hours work your way through huge bags of greasy crisps, over-processed dairy products and fizzy drinks, so why does travelling suddenly make it acceptable? Whole Foods Soya Nuts, a massive bottle of still mineral water and a mini bar of vegan friendly Green and Blacks means the inevitable boredom binge doesn't do too much damage.

Mini Toiletries
Mini's rock. Not only do they mean you're not lumbered with hotel shampoos but because of ongoing security measures, nearly all your usual hair cleansers are available in 100ml bottles to comply with carry on luggage. Aussie, Phillip Kingsley, Palmer's Cocoa Body Butter and Bumble & Bumble now offer nearly all their products in travel size.

False Eyelashes
No matter how tired/grubby/bloated you feel, don a pair of fake eyelashes and you'll automatically transform yourself into a sexy glamour puss. Eyelure Tokyo are doing a limited edition blue feather set at the mo that are amazing! I never play a show without them.

And for the suitcase...
Always pack a bikini.. always. Going to Alaska.. pack a bikini. You never know when the hotel may have a pool/your bra strap breaks/there may be an imprompto Jacuzzi party in the King suite the floor above you/ the tour bus shower breaks and your parked by Brighton pier/ some sneaky sunbathing time when your flight's delayed. Let's just say it gives room to be a bit spontaneous while maintaining just a little bit of modesty..

A sturdy and sassy travel bag
I'd be lost without my large patchwork Miu Miu tote, but there's nothing like a classic Louis Vuitton travel case. PPQ have some totally covetable oversized patent totes that are perfect for overnight stays. Just be sure you can ram all you junk in them.

And another thing..
Now don't make life difficult for yourself, - do as much of your preening at home as you can. Wax and tan up the evening before. If you're smooth, bronzed and smiling on the outside no one will guess you're jet lagged to hell. Urban Retreat at Harrods is my waxer of choice in London, virtually pain free (no really - it's all in the hot wax). A light shade of St Tropez spray tan (but not stupidly heavy, we don't want to look like Barbie) and you're good to go.

Your tick list of extras..
Good book, i-Pod, international sim card, cooling eye mask, passport, anti-reddening eye drops, my massive cashmere pashmina that I picked up in Varanasi in India (can double up as a blanket/sling/cloa0, white 70's vintage Pioneer headphones, Jo Malone travel candles, DJ records!, black patent Burberry platforms, sugarfree gum (cos coffee breath is a no no), a fab frock (preferably vintage, Paul & Joe, Luella or Marc Jacobs at the mo), cowboy boots and some sexy knickers.


Happy flying! xx

www.goldierocks.co.uk
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